What a difference 1 week makes…
Had a great post-op check-up at the doctor yesterday. Last week, I was admitted into the hospital after my check-up … so needless to say I’m very glad that did NOT happen this time.
I posted this reel yesterday to share a little about my experience of recovery (post C-section) these last 2 weeks.
I’m most of all grateful that baby Daisy is doing amazing ❤️ (and very grateful for my amazing doctor that delivered her).
It’s also been on my heart to share about what I’ve experienced of Waiting, Trials, and Hope in God’s Promises:
Waiting…
After 9 months of waiting, the day came for our scheduled C section. They wheeled me in at the scheduled time to the Operating Room and transferred me over to the OR table to begin surgery prep. They were just about to do the Spinal when the doctor came in and told the nurse to hang on. There was a baby literally down the hall that was not going to wait any longer. My doctor needed to go deliver that baby first. So I laid in the OR on that table by myself waiting (significant others are not allowed in the OR until surgery prep and the Spinal are completed). I watched the clock and said the Rosary to myself in my mind. To me, the Spinal is the “scariest” part of the whole ordeal and I definitely had some anxiety about it. Waiting even longer now in anticipation to receive it wasn’t exactly what I had in mind…
But I also knew that God undeniably spoke to me earlier that week through scripture: “As I was with Moses, so I will be with you”
(Joshua 1:5 ) - so I just tried to focus on the fact that God was with me in the OR. Thankfully I did experience the “peace that surpasses understanding” because although I had to lay there waiting for an hour and a half, I didn’t feel hardly any anxiety at all. In fact, at one point (in between reciting the Rosary in my mind over and over), I actually almost dosed off asleep (which reminded me of Jesus falling asleep in the boat in the middle of a storm).
The doctor ended up delivering the baby down the hall and coming back into the OR at exactly 3pm. Since I had been saying the Rosary, I didn’t think it was a coincidence that my baby would now be born during The Hour of Mercy (3pm is known as Holy Hour).
After 90 minutes of patiently waiting there in the operating room on the OR table under the bright fluorescent light, the waiting was over. It was time for our blessing to be delivered (literally).
This makes me think about one of the purposes of “The Waiting” period before a blessing or something God has promised comes to pass.
In the waiting, I made up my mind to trust God. I made up my mind that I had confidence in what He had promised. And I chose to turn to Him through prayer in order to overcome fear. God does some of His most beautiful work in the periods of “Waiting” in our lives…
It seems to me that a spirit of Patience and Trust is precious in God’s sight. I think He takes great pride in making us into the masterpieces He intends for us to be. And it’s often through periods of Waiting or through Trials that we develop the most…
Just 5 days later, I then found myself in another short time of Waiting once again…
I had to leave my 5 day old baby and get readmitted to the hospital due to complications with the C-section incision.
From that Monday at noon to Wednesday around 3pm, I was then by myself again. Back in the hospital, waiting. Waiting to get cleared to go back home to my family (children were not allowed to visit in the hospital). And waiting to find out what was going on with my body (the doctors were concerned because my skin presented as if I had a serious infection).
Again, I found myself in a situation I had no control over. And I chose to trust God in the Waiting.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m FAR from perfect. God is definitely still working on me. But in this situation, I just kept thinking of Saint Gianna Beretta Molla because her Feast day was just a few days prior. She ultimately gave her life to bring her child into this world. And her words kept echoing in my mind “Whatever God wants.” Her noble attitude of submitting to God’s will and trusting Him in all circumstances was such an inspiration.
Slowly, that Monday went by…. And then Tuesday… still no clear answers and still not able to go home. The weather even seemed to match my sentiments - it was rainy and dreary outside both days. Then came Wednesday. That morning, it was a sunny day. I became determined that I would be going home that day. I said my rosary in the morning and prayed for others in my intentions. And then I saw it- the light shining through my hospital window was a perfect reflection of a rainbow. There it was - my sign of hope that morning.
Then it was 3pm again when I got the final “all clear” that everything was okay and I could go home. When my husband picked me up from the hospital and we were pulling away, again- I saw another glimpse of a rainbow in the reflection of the rearview mirror. Then, again - right before we pulled down our street to get home.
God has always sent me rainbows as reminders of His Promises to me. And I really feel that He will do the same for you as you trust in Him. The thing about me is I’m nothing “special”. While it’s true that everyone is perfect and deeply loved and treasured in God’s sight- I just mean that God is “no respecter of persons”. All I have is a deep love and devotion to Jesus. Anyone can have that. Which means that anyone can have this type of relationship with God and these Promises from Him.
When you have a close relationship with God, He truly begins to speak to you through scripture, prayer, various signs, people, or whatever means needed really.
And once God promises something to you (like He did to Abraham) - you have every reason to believe that it will come to pass.
About 8 years ago, I was going through a very difficult season of life and God encouraged me through Romans 8:28. I held onto this Promise that He would work all things out for the good:
And He absolutely did !!!
But still, there are always trial periods as well. The difficulties of this life can feel so overwhelming at times…
But anything worth doing is likely going to be hard. For example, God blessed us by sending us an amazing angel baby girl that melts our hearts and makes us completely joyful. And at the same time, being a parent of 3 small children can also be very hard and trying at times. The recovery following a 3rd C-section for me has also been very difficult and the pain the first week was unlike anything else I have ever experienced. The amount of difficulties and tears cried those first few days from the amount of pain and not being able to move my body were very real.
But the pain and difficulties are only temporary and fleeting. The joy and greatness of the blessing far surpasses any momentary hardships.
I’m not going to pretend to know the purpose for trials or the hardships of this life. Again, I just wonder what they are producing in us.
“Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.” Romans 5:3-5 ESV
But during our trials , it’s so important to HOLD ON to HOPE and the truth of God’s Promises to us. I talk a little more about God’s Promises in the book I wrote- but I think it’s important to stay open to what God is speaking to you individually. Open your heart to God and earnestly SEEK after having an intimate relationship with Him through Jesus.
Sometimes I also wonder whether trials can sometimes be a test of our character as well. It’s easy to be a kind person when everything is going your way. But how do you act or treat people when times get hard? Or when you’re sick or in pain? Again, no one is perfect. There are still areas where God is undoubtedly working on me and I’m completely aware that I haven’t “passed the test” in these areas yet. Thankfully, we have a Savior who IS perfect to make up for that. I keep on praying for help to endure trials as they come and to respond accordingly …
Anyways, I felt inspired to write all of this in light of my recent experiences and thoughts on Waiting, Trials, and keeping Hope in God’s Promises.
If this resonated with you, please reach out to let me know! I also elaborate more on these topics in the book I wrote (Grace in Love: Experiencing the Transformational Change of God’s Grace) if you would like to check that out as well.
Thank you for reading and God bless!
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