Five Ways to Fight back against Bullying (in honor of Bullying Prevention Month)
- amylynnlisek
- Oct 28, 2021
- 7 min read
Updated: Nov 18, 2021
^^PHOTO CREDIT: ILLINOIS SELF-ADVOCACY ALLIANCE (CLICK HERE TO CHECK OUT THEIR WEBSITE)
October is "Bullying Prevention Month". I wanted to write this blog post sooner in the month but it's honestly just been hectic here these past few weeks with some unexpected and tough stuff going on. Even though it's nearing the end of the month now, I feel that this topic is one that should be kept at the forefront of our awareness more than just in October. Thinking about how to prevent bullying and how to be kind to others should transfer over into being the everyday "norm"! In this blog, we'll share Five Ways to Fight back against Bullying (without actually physically fighting, of course).
I really like the visual above made by The Illinois Self-Advocacy Alliance group because it reminds us of the different ways that bullying can manifest. I attended an excellent webinar presentation from The Alliance this month called "Put an End to Bullying" (watch it HERE). I am an advocate and case manager for kids and adults with intellectual and developmental disabilities. As you can imagine, the issue of bullying is one that many of them have had to face throughout their lives.
People can just be downright mean. I was also bullied growing up. And from time and time again of being judged and hurt by others- I learned to feel "less than". It's truly only by the grace of God that I no longer feel this way. I now feel and know that I am MORE than enough.
But ultimately, the root of bullying is hate. And hate is NOT something that is from God. Remember, 1 John 4:8 actually says that God is love. So when you think about it, hate is the OPPOSITE of love. Hate is very detrimental to us.
Here is a powerful reminder of some of the ways that bullying can be very detrimental:
^^PHOTO CREDIT: ILLINOIS SELF-ADVOCACY ALLIANCE (CLICK HERE TO CHECK OUT THEIR WEBSITE)
We should do all that we can to fight back against the hate that is so prevalent in this world. And what is the best way to fight back against hate? Well, Martin Luther King, Jr. said it best:
So that being said, here are Five Ways to Fight Back Against Bullying:
1. Follow the GOLDEN RULE
The Golden Rule: Treat others the way that you want to be treated. That's it! Super simple. We learn it in school as kids. Think about how the world would change if people could only go back to this basic rule. And I know that they still teach this in school because my son came home from pre-school with this beautiful affirmation called "The Pledge of Kindness" that we hung up in his room and now say together:
Before you act or speak unkind words to (or about) someone- PAUSE, and REMEMBER the Golden Rule. Just take that moment from now on to think about it first:
"Should I comment this on social media? Is this comment something I would want someone to say to me?"
"Should I talk about this person behind their back? Is this gossip something that I'd want someone saying about me?"
"Should I make fun of this person? How would it feel if someone called me these names?"
"Should I cause this harm to this person? How would I feel if the tables were turned here?"
And to take it a step further, pause for a bit longer now to reflect on:
"Why do I feel the need to cause physical or emotional harm to another human being? What's going on with ME or in MY LIFE that I'm acting this way towards someone else? Perhaps, is there something that I cannot control that makes me feel the need to control, belittle, or manipulate someone else? Is there something that happened to me that makes me feel critical, hateful, or judgmental of others?"
(Therapy/counseling may be actually very helpful to process all of this).
2. Plant Seeds of Kindness
This is one of my favorite ways to "FIGHT BACK" against the darkness in this world. Because going back to the MLK quote - "Darkness cannot drive out darkness; Only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; Only love can do that." Let's get intentional about spreading kindness. Here are some ideas for you to start planting seeds of kindness:
Do you notice anyone that may feel left out? If you are in school- is there someone who may not be as "popular" or seems to be more of a "loner"? Can you make friends with them? Can you compliment them? Can you do a random act of kindness for them? This can also apply to the workplace as well or other community groups.
Check out this video from Kindness.org as well as go to their website for ideas on how to be more KIND:
3. Check out Kindspring.org/ideas for a TON of ideas on how to be kind in a variety of ways. Jackson & I actually painted Kindness Rocks recently that we plan to place around our neighborhood or the local park!
4. VOLUNTEER or DONATE: Is there somewhere local where you can volunteer your time in service of others? Do you attend a church? Have you thought about volunteering there to help with services?
Other ideas of places to volunteer: Food pantry, shelter, library, park district, special recreation associations, nursing home (I’ve gone around the holidays to play guitar and sing them Christmas songs), other residential homes for people with disabilities, rehabilitation centers, and just about any community organization that you can think of that has a mission of helping people or providing a service to others. DONATING: When it comes to donating, it doesn't always HAVE to be monetary donations. If you are able to, of course- you can consider giving to causes that you believe in. The organization STOMP OUT BULLYING also accepts donations which would be one way you could help this specific cause. Their website is: https://www.stompoutbullying.org/
Our organization also donates various resources and items to other community organizations that we believe in. One "easy" thing that a lot of people may be able to help with is donating CLOTHES or other items. Are there local thrift stores near you that directly support a cause you believe in? Can you do a "Google" search for local shelters and check out their website to see whether they have items posted that they are in need of?
Here is an example of a "Wish List" posted by Connections for Abused Women & their Children (CAWC) here in Chicago:
Get creative! If you do not have a ton of "extra" income to donate financially - start thinking about any items that you may be able to part with and who you could BLESS with them. Or start thinking about how you could be a blessing to someone by volunteering your time.
You have the power to make a difference in someone's life!
5. Make a PLEDGE of KINDNESS. From this day forward, decide that you are going to make an effort to choose to be kind to others as best as you can. This includes not gossiping or talking badly about them also! Why don't you try complimenting people instead or using your words to lift them up? You never know what someone is going through. One of my favorite ways to plant seeds of kindness is to pray for people. I have a PRAYER LIST of people that I am genuinely praying for.
3. Speak Up and Speak Out
"Speak Up and Speak Out" was the phrase used by The Alliance in the "Put an END to Bullying" presentation I mentioned above. This is such an important message that I cannot emphasize enough. Do not tolerate bullying when you see it or experience it! This is a reminder to advocate for yourself and others. Know that bullying should NOT be tolerated and should be reported to a person in authority (teacher, principal, administrator or other leader, Human Resources, etc.) whenever possible. If you witness bullying happen, you can also SPEAK UP for the person being bullied. Here is a video with an example of what it means to "BE SOMEONE'S HERO":
If this bullying is happening online, you may be able to click "REPORT" somewhere to report inappropriate internet conduct. You can also BLOCK the bully online or unfriend/unfollow them.
There are also support groups out there available to help with this as well as resources such as:
4. Establish Boundaries
In relationships, boundaries are healthy and can actually be essential. Establish healthy boundaries with people that may be toxic for your mental or emotional health. Some people are natural "bullies" and they might not even realize it. They may think it's "normal" to make fun of/tease, gossip, or talk down to others. If you do not HAVE to spend time with these people, I would suggest limiting the amount of time you spend with them to begin with if at all possible.
I'm no expert on boundaries but here are some people who have written some great books on it:
-"Boundaries" (book) by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend WOW, I just watched this video for the first time also, SO good! Dr. Cloud explains the importance of boundaries WAY better than I ever could:
-"I Do Boundaries" (book) by Havilah Cunnington- I actually just ordered this one and I'm excited to read it myself!
5. PARENTS! Call to Action: Start Talking With Your Kids (on a regular basis) About How to Prevent Bullying & also help BOOST THEIR CONFIDENCE
Again, I'm no "expert" at this but I just came across this article that has a TON of helpful info:
^^ This article from Parents.com goes over everything from bullying symptoms; How to talk with your kids about ways to stop bullying before it starts; Teaching the right responses; Reporting bullying; Coping Skills; and Building confidence in your child from an early age. I know that I plan to save this website to refer back to!
*Updating to add a quick list of books from our local library with the theme of KINDNESS:
(I also already mentioned the book "If You Plant a Seed" by Kadir Nelson in a previous blog post that we LOVE).
Well, that's it for this blog post "Five Ways to Fight back against Bullying" in honor of Bullying Prevention month. I hope you found this helpful and please share any resources that you may have with me also!
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